Ministry of Crap Design

[Trinoc]

I think we can make a whole sub-genre within this thread of products which were clearly designed and marketed by people who had no serious experience in using them at all.

[al_capone_junior]

I think we can make a whole sub-genre within this thread of products which were clearly designed and marketed by people who had no serious experience in using them at all.

absolutely!

I had this van back in the day... the first time I got a flat tire, I tried to use the jack provided to fix it. I'm sure glad there was a brick nearby, because the jack wasn't tall enough to actually lift the fan up high enough to change the tire. I tried every possible way to jack up the van but it just didn't go up high enough, not even directly under the axle. I wound up putting this crappy little twisty type bottle jack on top of a brick, which made it just barely possible to change the tire. I'm absolutely certain that no friggin' suit wearing, golf playing mofo ever tried to change a tire on that vehicle with that type of jack.

Since then I've just made sure to have a hydrolic jack inside every vehicle I own.

[chaggle]

This is good - some seriously grumpy people. Hi gareth - you're even grumpier than me

[Mulder]

I have a theory that all the really useless ideas that appear nowadays start in a stuffy office where a group of people are sitting on uncopmfortable plastic seats staring at a flipchart. An annoyingly cheerful person, standing by the chart, is asking them for ideas when they would all rather be on facebook. So the people say anything, just to get out of there. And the rest of us suffer the consequences of their 'ideas' for years.

[Trinoc]

Just reminded of this one by today's visit to IKEA to get a new sofa cover. Last trip to IKEA in 2008 I bought a chest of drawers in the usual flat pack form. After nearly crippling myself carring the box from the car to the living room, I opened it up and found the usual sheet of hieroglyphics, the first of which was apparently warning me that the box was heavy and I should get someone to help me carry it ...

[tbbt]

Now I ask you who in their right mind designs a fridge light so that it is ON when the door is closed, such that over time it heats the contents of the fridge? There are no little pixies living in my fridge so who exactly is supposed to benefiting from the light staying on? I am baffled, truly truly baffled.

skb

ETA: Furthermore the switch is in a position such that it is easily knocked n or off. More insanity

I think I know the reason for the button. Is the fridge a bosch ?

If so, the button is a 'fast freeze' switch, which has the undesireable side effect of making the light blink on & off repeatedly when the door is closed and the switch is on !

NB: test this by pressing the door close switch on the hinge side with the door open

The only solution to the problem is don't use 'fast freeze' as it makes the fridge part heat up (or remove the bulb of course).

Design error; yes, returnable fault; yes, have I bothered ? no !

best regards

[skbuncks]

I think I know the reason for the button. Is the fridge a bosch ?

If so, the button is a 'fast freeze' switch, which has the undesireable side effect of making the light blink on & off repeatedly when the door is closed and the switch is on !

NB: test this by pressing the door close switch on the hinge side with the door open

The only solution to the problem is don't use 'fast freeze' as it makes the fridge part heat up (or remove the bulb of course).

Design error; yes, returnable fault; yes, have I bothered ? no !

best regards

Nope not a Bosch, its a Fridgemaster. I did wonder though whether it was a defrost button but alas according to the specs it doesnt have one.

skb

[DrS]

Seems Prince Philip has some typically firm ideas about poor design ... he's not wrong in some respects, as it happens ...

Beeb

[Graham Lappin]

My favourite - airport design http://limeyblimey.wordpress.com/200...airport-chaos/

[seren]

Good timing, Bunny- I just flew in to Heathrow T5 this afternoon. See, on the way out I was quite impressed. It was quick, sleek and relatively uncrowded, like T4 used to be when it was new. Departure lounge was a bit manic, but at least there was natural light, unlike T3.

Arriving was just flippin' ridiculous.

Walk from plane to terminal in gangway tunnel thing (can't remember the name of it). Through double doors, turn left. Down escalator. Down another escalator, into oversized hallway. Wait for automatic shuttle train. Board train, travel 400 yards. Exit train, walk to end of platform. Go back up an escalator, then another escalator at right angles to that one, turn left, enter immigration. Pass through immigration, walk 100 yards, turn right on to escalator going down to reach baggage reclaim.

Come ON. It's madness, utter, utter madness. What were they thinking? Ugh. Still, by the time I'd done all that walking and escalating, my bag was ready for collection on the carousel, which I shouldnt feel grateful for but do, given the "teething troubles" they experienced.

[Graham Lappin]

I picked up a rental car this week and since it is a company car, I requested two keys so a colleague could also have access. I picked up the car and indeed they gave me two keys. The problem was that the two keys, instead of being on a key ring, they were on a wire with the ends welded together so it was impossible to separate the keys from each other. I pointed out this somewhat obvious logical error and I was told they have to do like that so one of the keys does not get lost ..... I am not making this up honest. I have a photograph of the keys (it will make a great blog) and when I work out how to get pictures on this forum I will post it.

Luckily my sense of humour overrides my sense of incredulity in this case.

[Cuddles]

Walk from plane to terminal in gangway tunnel thing (can't remember the name of it). Through double doors, turn left. Down escalator. Down another escalator, into oversized hallway. Wait for automatic shuttle train. Board train, travel 400 yards. Exit train, walk to end of platform. Go back up an escalator, then another escalator at right angles to that one, turn left, enter immigration. Pass through immigration, walk 100 yards, turn right on to escalator going down to reach baggage reclaim.

You should try Houston airport. Half an hour hike down corridors, down stairs, back up stair, around few corners, through the janitors closet because their "improvement works" appear to have removed the actual corridor, up and down some more stairs, spin round in circles a few times, signs disappear so ask the nice man with a machine gun if you're still going the right way or if he's about to shoot you, finally reach passport control where they take you fingerprints for no apparent reason since I've never given them before and there's nothing to compare them with. Oh, you're on a connecting flight? You just need to go through security and then back the way you came. Bastards. On the plus side, I suppose I didn't really have anything better to do and at least I got some exercise.

There are some great examples of design where I work. For those who don't know, I work at a particle accelerator. The biggest non-military project in the UK for several decades, supposedly filled with some of the brightest minds around. There are two things that particularly get me. The first is doors. They just can't make them work. The automatic sliding doors at the main entrance apparently can't work in high winds. I have no idea how wind stops a door sliding sideways, but someone managed to design some that don't. That means you have to use the side door when it's windy. Which is almost impossible to open when it's windy because it's quite heavy and the prevailing wind pushes it closed. Then you have the entrance from the carpark to the site itself. There are four possible doors to use. Generally at least one of them isn't working. At one point I actually had to walk a kilometre or so around to the front entrance because none of them were working. And the less said about the car park barrier the better. I just don't understand how it can be so difficult to make doors work.

The other classic example is the air conditioning. Being a physics lab, we have all sorts of clever temperature controlled environments. The accelerator tunnel itself, almost 600 metres circumference and plenty big enough for people to wander around inside is kept at a constant temperature to within a fraction of a degree. But can they get the air conditioning for the offices to work? Of course not. In fact, after years of trying to work out what's wrong and how to fix it it turns out that there's actually nothing wrong with it - not working is simply inherent in the design.

On a different note, cars. I'll happily admit I know very little about cars. I can just about manage to check the oil and refill the windscreen washer. Also, I can change bulbs. Except in my current car, a Ford Focus, where changing the left headlight took something like 2 hours the last time I tried. In order to have any chance you need to take off the battery's cover. This is rather a mission in itself. Without removing half the engine you can only get rid of the top half, but that's just about enough to get an arm down to the lights. "Just about" being the important point there. Of course, this is possible because arms bend. Unfortunately, eyes don't. The cover for the lights on the other side is a bit of a mission when you can see what you're doing, when you have to do it purely by feel and guesswork it's another matter entirely. Eventually, having managed to remove the cover and wrestle a new bulb into the correct slot, possibly even the right way up, you are hit by a horrible realisation - you need to put the cover back on again. It's at about this point that the sledgehammer gets involved. The worst part is that when I took the car in for a service, I found out that it was actually cheaper to get them to replace a bulb than it was to buy one and do it myself.

[Harryprice]

For any given product the design goals usually are:

a) that it looks good
b) that it works well
c) that it is easily maintainable

According to price you can have one of these options, two or, if you have a lot of money to spend, all three. The cheapest option is (a).

[Graham Lappin]

... for those who don't know, I work at a particle accelerator. ...

I didn't know and I am intrigued. I work with an Accelerator Mass Spectrometer (5 MV - probably a baby compared to what you are used to).

It was the water cooling system that did it for me. About $4M worth of kit and a plastic cheap water cooling system that fell over in weeks.

[skbuncks]

So, my girlfriend was recently applying for a another job as a graphic designer. I'll repeat that in capitals, cos its important, GRAPHIC DESIGNER.
Now, rather than simply firing off a CV and covering letter they required her to fill in a rather lengthy and mind numbing application form on the front of which, in large 14 point bolded capital letters, was the phrase (or something like it anyway):

"This application form is also available in Braille"

Oh, and the job was for the highways agency. Says it all really.

skb