I visit a variety of different forums and occasionally receive a PM from somebody asking to become my "friend".
As far as I'm concerned a friend is somebody I have known well for some time and come to like and trust. I don't understand the point of asking complete strangers to be "friends". What does this signify? What do they get out of it? What am I supposed to get out of it?
Re: Virtual "friends"?
There are a few places where it's helpful to mark "friend" or "foe." Of those places I go to... I have like two friends and zero foes lol
Otherwise it depends on the site and the purpose of the site. NASCAR.com or proracers.ning.com... you have lots of buddies... most of them you know not much about... but you have buddies anyway. There, it's a way to easily navigate to their blogs, groups or posts.
a place like this? I would judge it to be pretty irrelevant.
The main thing to avoid is places where total strangers try to buddy up... then spam you or invite you to adult sites etc etc... that would be places like facebook, myspace etc. If someone I don't know tries to buddy me on most sites, I ask them a specific question that only someone I know would know the answer to (like what's my real name, how do you know me etc)... and if they don't know what I'm talking about, I block them.
Unless it's a forum or a specific type of special interest site, I don't buddy anyone unless I know who they are in advance. Since I usually only post on forums, it's rarely an issue.
al
Looks like the days are gone when you can just be friends.
There are many different ways of making friends, you can be introduced to them by a third party, meet them at work, or meet them because of a shared interest, finally you can just walk up to someone and start a conversation.
In respect of fora, they are certainly areas where shared interests exist, so other than meeting people face to face there is little difference between 'meeting' people here and at a debating club. While older folk will balk at taking things any further with someone whose family lineage cannot be traced back three generations, the young have no such hang ups and simply change with the changing opportunities for social interaction.
Well, I'm certainly one of the older folk but I don't require to see anyone's pedigree. I count among my friends people I have never met, but have had a long association with via email and discussion forums. What I don't understand is why a complete stranger should make such a request. As far as I'm concerned, friendship is something that develops over time and with familiarity. Maybe people's definitions of friendship have got a lot shallower than I'm used to.Originally Posted by Pebble
Sorry, misunderstood first post, that I would put under 'walking up to someone', definitely a situation for a degree of caution.
I once joked on a forum that my CP told me I had 0 friends - unfortunately I think my amusement was slightly misunderstood and the next day I was swamped with strange invites to friendship. I agreed to them all as I had a few minutes to spare and no more was demnded of me, I never really thought about it since then.
It does strike me as far too sticky for my own taste when people suggest a forum is family or seem to cloyingingly invoke extra strong group bonds of deep friendship (after following the instructions on the back of the packet).
Generally I like people and I enjoy occasions when the sentiment is returned but like the OP I see real friendship as something built slowly and rarely appearing on any single day as the result of formal request. But then again - who says I have any better idea of friendship than the neediest, most cloying (and possibly kindest) folk around?
Tony, will you be my friend?
Re: Beer Group
I see there are no social groups here, despite the capability of the forum software to handle such groups. [as I thought, this forum would not have much use for that type of thing]
However, I briefly toyed with the idea to create a group, just to put out a bunch of pointless invitations and buddy requests.
I was considering the "beer" group
But changed my mind... I wouldn't want the forum to crash from the mad rush of people trying to join up
Well.
The kind of friends one might have at Facebook can be split into:
- Actual, real, meatspace friends you know well and love
- Actual, real, meatspace aquaintances you know a little bit and tolerate or even like
- Random friends-of-friends or people who find you through mutual interests (who you don't actually know at all)
- Pervs (of course any of the people in the above three groups could also be pervs).
Similar things for other social networking sites probably apply.
On forums, it seems pointless to form forced "virtual friendships" in the manner described by OP. However, real friendships can develop. And those don't require some kind of "add a friend" function.
Fact: I've made some proper, actual friends for life online (by this I mean the friendships have transcended the typing-behind-screen stage and we've participated in each other's lives in other ways too)
Fact: I even met my husband on a gaming forum
Fact: Even today, this probably classifies me as a nerd
Re: Virtual "friends"?
One thing to note is that if you have an online "friend" it occasionally leads to a networking opportunity that you wouldn't expect, or otherwise get. Thus if it's harmless, you probably should go ahead and "be friends." Cyber definitions may not equate to real world facts, but if you've been "buddies" with someone for a while, they may take note of something that is of mutual interest more readily. Every once in a while this kind of thing happens to me, most recently it was a free racing ticket.
Your best buddy,
al
I have some 'virtual' friends I've known on-line 10 years or so now without having met them, but I would still class as them as friends.
Incidentally, I got engagad to someone I knew on-line, and if it wasn't for one of the soon-to-be-defunct MSN Groups I wouldn't have met my wife...
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