Dogs and Humans

[bindeweede]

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all !!!

2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello???, Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, I can and you can't, so you're just jealous.


Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who's boss here!!!

You don't see me picking up YOUR poop do you ???

Have they got it right?

[MischiefMonkey]

LOL. Stupid dogs!!!


Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all !!!


If it wasn't you, deny it. Oh, I forgot - you can't.

2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

Barking at a murdering burglar is one thing. When you are 10 inches tall and weigh 9lb wet through, barking at a huge Rotweiller is suicide. And stupid.

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

What is the point of checking out rabbit poo/fox poo/badger poo? When you can analyse poo like Gillian McKeef I'll discuss your stupid, disgusting interests. And who is holding the lead? I think you'll find it is my walk

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!

If you are so bothered don't eat the treat. Hunger strike anybody?

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

Well, if you'd prefer being blind.... Though it might mean you don't see the Rotties you are so fond of barking at

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

Hey, you fell for it. Not just once, but every bloody time. Ever occurred to you I was looking for intelligence?

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

Haven't noticed you try to shag a Rotweiller recently. It was for your own good

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

It isn't that difficult - you have paws. You'll get a treat

9. Dog sweaters. Hello???, Haven't you noticed the fur?

Stop rolling in fox poo and I might consider allowing you to go out without a jumper. Unless you want to go in the washing machine?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, I can and you can't, so you're just jealous.

You don't need to rub it in though do you


Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who's boss here!!!

You don't see me picking up YOUR poop do you ???
At least I don't try to eat it


And while we're at it.

1, Cat poo. Don't eat it and expect a kiss.
2, Bath time. It is fun. Well, more fun than smelling you after you have rolled around in fox poo.
3, 'Stand' means 'Stand'. It doesn't suddenly get some new meaning involving trying to climb on my shoulder just because we are at the vets.
4, I bought you. I pay for your food, clothing and medical care. I train you, walk you and play with you. Why do you love Daddy more? Show some gratitude.
5, You are 10" tall. I'm not a genius, but I know Rottie love isn't going to turn out well. If and when I decide you need a boyfriend, I'm choosing. You haven't shown good taste or judgment up until now.

[bindeweede]

Mischief


You naughty person. You've seen this before. Your replies - just too a propos.

Good though.

[MischiefMonkey]

Mischief


You naughty person. You've seen this before. Your replies - just too a propos.

Good though.

Totally off the cuff

I am the owner/slave of the two adorable dogs in the attachment.

Too much of that post rang true - in my defense one of my dogs is a hairless Chinese Crested - thus needing clothing. She is obsessed with fox poo and Rotties.

The other dog is a Glen of Imaal Terrier, who used to have a fondness for trying to have 'sweet lovin' with anything that moved. When youngest child started to crawl I had to have him snipped. I didn't want 'that' conversation with social services.

The only thing I don't do is the balancing a treat on the nose trick.

[InForAPennyInForApound]

Totally off the cuff

I am the owner/slave of the two adorable dogs in the attachment.

Too much of that post rang true - in my defense one of my dogs is a hairless Chinese Crested - thus needing clothing. She is obsessed with fox poo and Rotties.

The other dog is a Glen of Imaal Terrier, who used to have a fondness for trying to have 'sweet lovin' with anything that moved. When youngest child started to crawl I had to have him snipped. I didn't want 'that' conversation with social services.

The only thing I don't do is the balancing a treat on the nose trick.

You right about two things, firstly we are slaves to our dogs/cats/pets, and your dogs are adorable!! I seriously do not know where Pepe my dog gets all the tanks full to water each bush, tree, tyre and grass, anything that he can lift his leg too, but he is very fussy where he does a no 2, he gets embarrassed and prefers to do this natural task behind a bush or where no one can see him. I normally extend the leash to give him his privacy! He is so funny!!