Concentrated woo

[Blue Bubble]

Advert in the local newspaper (where I have gained a reputation for being a s**t-stirrer):

COMPLEMENTARY THERAPY TASTER DAY

TUESDAY 16th MAY
TOWN HALL
SAFFRON WALDEN

FREE ENTRANCE
REFRESHMENTS AVAILABLE
10.30-3.00 AND 6.30-9.30

TRY A WIDE RANGE OF TASTER TREATMENTS STARTING FROM £5

Bioenergiser Detox Foot Spa
Indian Head Massage
Reflexology
Facial Massage
Reiki Healing
Crystals & Minerals
Homeopathy
Herbalism
Psychic Healing
Hypnotherapy
Shiatsu
Iridology
Rejuvanessence Facial
Angel Card Readings
Aura Photography
Alexander Technique
Psychic Readings/Art
Mini Manicure/Pedicure

Organised by Tranquillity
Complementary Therapy Centre
2a Pleasant Valley, Saffron Walden
01799 523 423

I'll be working-from-home that day, so I might get a chance to pop in and, ahem, cause a leetle "fun". The centre is new, and is run by a bunch of woo-women, 2/3 of whom are called Melanie.

Any suggestions what I should concentrate on ? That's much too much for me alone to attack.

[Blue Bubble]

Apologies for replying to my own posting (yeah, I know it's very poor netiquette).

I was thinking of going along dressed completely in black, with a long black cloak and a couple of rag dolls with lots of pins, and dropping hints that I would like to join their sCAM centre as a practitioner of voodoo (I might have difficulty keeping a straight face though), and seeing how far they embrace that. If they don't embrace voodoo, I will appear very hurt and make a big fuss.

[Mojo]

Make sure you've researched your subject!

[Jocky]

There's a not-dissimilar Woo-women collective in Banbury, offering just such a farrago of nonsense designed for parting fools from their money. I growl every time I walk past their shop.

IMHO Homeopathy has to have the greatest potential for harm, just because it's the most widely misunderstood. I reckon a majority of the population fail to recognise it for the woo it is, whereas many of them do spot the obvious gaping holes in things like Reiki or Crystal healing.

OTOH, if you can't make up your mind just pick an Angel Card. That will give you the guidance you seek

[Nettles]

No kabbalah?

[Mojo]

It's all a load of old kabbalahs!

[Blue Bubble]

Well, I did manage to attend but I only had about 10 minutes to spare.

Simply put, I'm hopeless. I cannot stay calm enough with these people to put forward rational debate. I think it's because I've never ever actually come face-to-face with woowoos in real life - I guess I've had a sheltered upbringing, been in science circles all my life up until a couple of years ago.

Let's just say, if I had just been armed with a baseball bat, there would have been headline news >:(

Edited to add: I could almost feel the concentrated woo in the air. There were a couple of psychic readings underway, but I didn't dare go there (for fear of absolutely losing control ...)

[Jocky]

I could almost feel the concentrated woo in the air

WOW! You must be what they call a "sensitive" over on Paranormal Awakening.



I know what you mean. Confrontation is difficult because it is so hard to stay civilised.

[Blue Bubble]

I know what you mean. Confrontation is difficult because it is so hard to stay civilised.

Especially true for us Scots.

See you, Jimmy ?

[Jocky]

braced for incoming head butt:

[Mojo]

Simply put, I'm hopeless. I cannot stay calm enough with these people to put forward rational debate.

I had the same problem with a Moon-landing denier the other day.

Or it might have been the fact that I'd already been in the pub for three or four hours when we started...

[Blue Bubble]

Well, I did at least manage to put together a quick "Letter to the Editor" of the local rag. They almost always publish my letters 8)

(P.s. of course I'm trying to appear to be naive)

Sir,

I managed to pay a very fleeting visit to the Supplementary,
Complementary and Alternative Medicine (SCAM) taster session
organised by Tranquillity in the Town Hall last Tuesday.
I was hoping there would be a voodoo stall where I might
purchase some new dolls, puppets and needles. Alas, to
my disappointment, there was no voodoo stall present. Perhaps
this might be an area for Tranquillity to expand into ?

I did, however, have an interesting conversation with the
lady on the homeopathy stall. She kindly explained to me how,
for example, Arnica 30C (a very common and popular homeopathic
remedy) is made. I was astonished to learn that an arnica
mother tincture is diluted 1 part to 100 parts water,
violently shaken and 99 parts of this solution discarded.
This is repeated 30 times, hence the 30C. I'll leave it as
a simple exercise for the town's high-school chemistry students
to work out the point at which there can be nothing left of the
original arnica. Imagine my further astonishment to learn that
each of these steps actually strengthens the homeopathic
remedy, the explanation from the kind lady being that water
exhibits memory. Water ? Memory ? I am not making this up.
I wonder if, like humans, young water has better memory than
the old stuff. I also wonder how many readers are aware of
this magic.

Alas, I did not have time to visit the crystals, psychics,
tarot card readers, angel card readers, reflexology practitioners.
I am sure my knowledge of the universe would have improved by
leaps and bounds.

Shame about the voodoo. Ah well, must get back to my woodworking
- I'm constructing a new ducking stool.

Blue Bubble
Blue Bubble Mansions
Great Chesterford
Essex

[Admin]

That's fabulous.

I can imagine some people reading it and thinking, "what is his point?"

[Jocky]

Blimey BB, sarcasm meter goes off the scale there

Do these local woos know you by sight - if so, they'll probably take up voodoo just to get you

[median]

'Scuse me
I kind of get the gist, as it were but..what [exactly is a woo?
Is it an acronym?