Psychics, a ticklish question

[Legaleagle]

I was recently invited to the home of some old friends for Sunday Lunch and the talk turned to Psychics.

My hostesses' father died, before his time, in a tragic accident a couple of years ago and I know that the family have found this very difficult to come to terms with. She mentioned to me that her mother had spoken to a Psychic. The Psychic told her she was in communication with the deceased husband and passed a message of comfort to her. The mother was impressed as the Psychic also, she says, scored some "hits" with regard to the names of some other members of the family who have also passed on. Now this was all third hand stuff; i.e. daughter, who wasn't present at the meeting, is reporting what Mum reported to her.

My immediate temptation was to read them a lecture on cold reading, but I sensed that this approach would have been about as welcome as a pork pie at a bar-mitzvah, and might have led to an early termination of the meal with floods of tears into the bargain. So, I took the path of least resistance and came out with a "really, how interesting, tell me more?" sort of response and then managed to change the subject soon afterwards.

Has anyone else been put into a similar social situation and, if so, how did you cope with it? Does anyone have any tips on how to tactfully suggest to a bereaved friend that they might be being led down the garden path?

[Julia]

Yes, it's an awful dilemma but one on which psychics thrive - the immediate post-bereavement period is a time during which the victims are most likely to seek psychic help and least likely to accept rational explanations. >:-)

[Fiona]

I sympathise too. The problem is that you have scruples and psychics don't. I don't think there is any way of resolving that. At least not any way I would consider acceptable.

[SorryImPsychic]

My immediate temptation was to read them a lecture on cold reading, but I sensed that this approach would have been about as welcome as a pork pie at a bar-mitzvah, Does anyone have any tips on how to tactfully suggest to a bereaved friend that they might be being led down the garden path?

I know friends and family who pay good money to regularly consult Psychics. Its disturbing to see. Discouraging them is like you say "popular as pork pie.....". The irony is that most of these people call themselves Christians and the Bible (for what it is worth) is quite clear on the prohabition of seeking out soothsayers or any occult practices.

But why do we feel we have to prevent them from pursuing Physics when they are actively seeking them? Its sort of like denying them human rights. We don't like it but ultimately it is not our business.

[Mulder]

The vast majority of people in the world are part of one religion or another. A substantial minority of the rest have 'New Age' type beliefs. That leaves only a vanishingly tiny minority of atheists and skeptics. My advice would be, don't share your opinions on such subjects unless asked. There are a whole lot more of them than you. :smiley:

[Janot]

But why do we feel we have to prevent them from pursuing Physics Please tell me that is a typo ....;D

[SorryImPsychic]

Please tell me that is a typo ....;D

Oh - wow what a typo - should be psychics - and yes everyone should pursue Physics O0.(freudian slip there)

[Admin]

I think there's a fundamental problem with many such situations because we do not like to be told we're wrong and we don't like to see other people being told they're wrong either.

It has more to do with psychology than it has to do with truth. Even if someone comes out with something outrageous, anyone challenging them will be seen as the 'bad guy'. Challenging someone, especially if they had good intentions, is seen as a hostile act - one of humiliation.

People think and interact emotionally rather than logically and so challenging another person's views, especially if you try to show them as being wrong, is seen by others as damaging to the person's self-esteem. It seems that this is less forgiveable than someone coming out with nonsense; as long as it's well meant.

I tend not to bother in such situations to be honest and if I am dragged into such a conversation I will say that my views are at odds with what has been said and if anyone wants my take on it they should be aware of that. It always helps if you're asked for an opinion rather than giving it uninvited.

One good thing though, when you get known for being 'The Skeptic' people do often willingly invite your take on things and some excellent debates can ensue.

[Jocky]

But why do we feel we have to prevent them from pursuing Physics when they are actively seeking them? Its sort of like denying them human rights. We don't like it but ultimately it is not our business.

I don't feel I want to prevent them as such - but if they are my friends, I want to ensure that if they must do so, they are at least in possession of the true facts about how 'psychics' really work.

I have had to bite my tongue on a couple of occasions in order to avoid giving a degree of offense that would be disproportionate to the good which information about cold reading etc. might do. But generally I don't flinch from pointing out in which direction reality lies, if I think this information might be heeded ... >:D

[SorryImPsychic]

I don't feel I want to prevent them as such - but if they are my friends, I want to ensure that if they must do so, they are at least in possession of the true facts about how 'psychics' really work.

>:D

You are still not accepting your friends as they are "beliefs and all". Are you sure you actually like these people?

[DrS]

If you "believed" it was good to put your hand in the fire, would a real friend stand by and let you do it? ::)

[SorryImPsychic]

If you "believed" it was good to put your hand in the fire, would a real friend stand by and let you do it? ::)

Gosh if you wanted to put your hand in fire you may need both friends and psychiatric help - but is this the category you'd place the friends who pursue psychics in - mentally imbalanced?

[siestatime]

If you "believed" it was good to put your hand in the fire, would a real friend stand by and let you do it? ::)

OK, let's change this slightly and remove the literal interpretation, SorryImPsychic.

If you "believed" it was good to spend loads of cash on something that is utterly worthless, would a real friend stand by and let you do it?

[Mojo]

But why do we feel we have to prevent them from pursuing Physics when they are actively seeking them? Its sort of like denying them human rights. We don't like it but ultimately it is not our business.

And what about the right the psychics have to make money out of people by preying on them when they're vulnerable? Next thing we know people will be saying that 419 frauds are a bad thing! If people believe that some guy in Nigeria is going to give them $40,000,000, why should we interfere?

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

No way! Being lied to and conned is a basic human right ! ::)