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tkingdoll
17th May 2006, 05:24 PM
I was doing some research today for the Astrology factsheet and I found a website that gives free astrology charts: http://www.alabe.com/freechart/

This disclaimer made me laugh: You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth.

Anyway, here's my reading with comments (I've just put HIT or MISS, ignoring how generic the statements all are):

Rising Sign is in 09 Degrees Gemini
Extremely active by nature [MISS], you like to get around [HIT], meet people and do different things [HIT. Very restless, you just can't seem to stay put [MISS]. You need to be involved in several projects at once in order to keep your mind stimulated [HIT]. You like to read books [HIT] and to write letters [MISS] and to talk -- constantly [HIT]. Seemingly ageless, you will always appear to be much younger than you really are [VERY HIT ;)]. Very adaptable and inquisitive [HIT], you are always open to new ideas and experiences [HIT, cause who likes to think they are closed-minded?]. A "jack-of-all-trades"[HIT], you are lively and versatile [HIT]. Because of the high nervous tension that you always seem to have [MISS], athletic activity would be a good way for you to burn off energy. But be careful of a tendency to experience things only superficially [MISS] -- try to dig in and absorb things at a deeper level.

Sun is in 24 Degrees Pisces.
Extremely sensitive [MISS] and emotional [MISS], you absorb the emotions of others (whether positive or negative) like a sponge [MISS]. Emotionally vulnerable, you are easily upset and tend to cry readily [VERY MISS]. You are at your best when you can structure your environment in such a way that you are surrounded by positive, upbeat people [HIT]. You are very helpful and understanding of the needs of others [HIT]. Indeed, at times this can be a disadvantage, because you can be a sucker for anyone who needs help [MISS]. Shy [HA! MISS], dreamy [MISS], romantic [HIT] in nature, you delight in retreating into your private fantasy world [HIT]. Just be careful that you do not get lost in it! Trust your intuitions -- you may be quite psychic [I THINK WE'LL CALL THAT A MISS].

Moon is in 14 Degrees Virgo.
You tend to be serious-minded [HIT] but cheerful for the most part [HIT]. You need tasks that engage both your mind and your hands [ARE THERE MANY TASKS THAT JUST ENGAGE THE MIND? HIT]. A careful worker, you enjoy making things [HIT]. You are neat and orderly BIG MISS], and are very concerned with good health habits [HIT]. Fastidious to the extreme, you cannot tolerate messes and will immediately clean them up [MISS]. Reserved [MISS], shy [MISS], and very self-critical [HIT], you tend to be very hard on yourself [MISS]. You usually will go out of your way to be helpful and useful to others [HIT]. Practical [HIT], reliable [HIT], efficient [HIT] and conservative[MISS], at times you are a bit of a prude [LOL. MISS]. You are known to lead a simple [MISS], uncomplicated [MISS], frugal [MISS], methodical [MISS]and unemotional [MISS]lifestyle. You are devoted and caring to those you love [HIT].

Mercury is in 09 Degrees Pisces.
Your ideas and thought processes do not come to you in an orderly, logical fashion [NOT REALLY SURE WHAT THAT MEANS]. Instead, you think with your feelings or with images produced by your rich and fertile imagination [AGAIN, NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS]. A very subjective person [MISS], your dreams and fantasies are very important to you [HIT]. You trust your intuitions [MISS] and tend to reject ideas that are based solely on logic [HA HA! MISS]. Very impressionable [OH MY, NO. MISS], you are sensitive to the moods and emotional states of those with whom you come into contact [HIT].

Venus is in 00 Degrees Pisces.
You have a dreamy [MISS], fanciful [HIT], romantic nature [HIT]and a very creative imagination [HIT]. Indeed, at times, your private fantasies are more appealing than the reality around you and it is difficult for you to leave them [MISS]. You tend to be unselfish [MISS] and giving in relationships and are extremely sensitive of the needs of others [HIT]. Be very sure that those you help are worthy of your devotion and are not merely taking advantage of your innocence and naivete [I AM THE LEAST INNOCENT NAIVE PERSON IMAGINABLE].

Mars is in 28 Degrees Gemini.
Your energies get turned on quickly whenever anything interests you [HIT]. But you have a very short attention span [HIT] and it is difficult for you to complete tasks because something else more interesting always seems to be beckoning [HIT]. You love to debate and argue [HIT], usually in a spirit of friendly disagreement. But watch out that you do not get too overly aggressive or antagonistic or others will be quick to take offense where none may have really been intended. You need to be in constant physical motion [MISS-A-RAMA!] -- sports or daily exercise is a must for you if you are to feel fit and healthy.

Jupiter is in 27 Degrees Aries.
The way that you grow and develop is by being an uncompromising individualist [HIT]. You have a great need to be yourself and to explore your latent talents and abilities [HIT]. Do not be afraid to let yourself go and develop self-confidence and pride in your accomplishments. But try not to become so self-centered that you ignore the needs of others. Also, you may have to build up your self-discipline in order to focus your energies properly.

Saturn is in 26 Degrees Cancer.
The most important issue for you is emotional security [MISS]. You have a deep and gnawing fear that those on whom you depend for emotional support will prove to be unreliable in the long run [MISS]. When you are unloved and insecure, you distrust others and tend to feel isolated and lonely [HIT, DUH]. Very cool [HIT, YEAH BABY!], detached [MISS]and objective [HIT], you can be counted on -- in situations that are inherently stressful or full of tension -- not to lose your self- control [HIT]. That is a great and welcome gift at such times.

Uranus is in 06 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels [?]. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything [HIT], you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial [HIT], especially when it comes to relationships [MISS]. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing [MISS] as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems [MISS].

Neptune is in 13 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating [HIT] and idealizing [MISS] foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 10 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly. [MISS. I GOT MARRIED TO A GUY I'D ONLY JUST MET]

N. Node is in 13 Degrees Scorpio.
You have a special aptitude for working by yourself [HIT], or with a like-minded group of dedicated individuals [MAKE YOUR MIND UP. HIT]. Once you've committed yourself to a person or group or project, your loyalty and devotion are total until the group's goals have been realized [HIT]. Not at all gregarious by nature [MISS], you're uncomfortable around strangers [MISS], greatly preferring to be in known and familiar situations VERY MISS]. Others may regard you as shy [MISS]or eccentric, [HIT] but those who know you well are aware of the intense loyalty that you have to your friends [MISS].


It's almost 50/50 hits and misses.

vbloke
17th May 2006, 06:33 PM
I just tried it for myself and mine turns out to be 80% the same as yours! (we're not twins are we..?)

tkingdoll
17th May 2006, 06:56 PM
Cor! No wonder we get on well!

Astrology by database...ain't the future grand?

vbloke
17th May 2006, 07:28 PM
You call this the future?

Where's my monkey butler and personal rocket pack?

tkingdoll
17th May 2006, 07:52 PM
You call this the future?

Where's my monkey butler and personal rocket pack?


Your monkey butler strapped on the rocket pack and went to the recently terraformed Mars to colonize it.

However, your food pill and silver jumpsuit are in the mail, as is your shower-that-also-blows-warm-air-to-dry-you.

Jocky
18th May 2006, 01:17 PM
Mine contains many of the same phrases as yours, although not necessarily in the same planets.

They aren't just stitching random phrases together, surely ...

You call this the future?

No - you'll find that filed under "Nostradamus" :)

John Jackson
18th May 2006, 04:22 PM
Do you know that in one of my darker "what's the point?" moments I actually considered doing a program like that.

Just create a database of Barnum statements and churn them up randomly to people daft enough to pay for them.

Trouble is, I have a conscience. >:(

median
28th May 2006, 08:42 PM
Dig this people ;) I think my chart predicts a proclivity for world domination ;D ;D

Name: Adolf Hiltler
April 20 1889
12:00 PM Time Zone is LMT
Braunau am Inn, AUS

Rising Sign is in 15 Degrees Leo
You love to be the center of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive - - at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff!

Sun is in 00 Degrees Taurus.
You are known for being patient, slow moving and careful -- you love to prolong and savor enjoyable times. You appreciate and need comfort, ease and warm surroundings. Be careful of a tendency to become placid and self-satisfied and to overeat (especially sweets). You require strenuous situations in order to grow and mature properly, even though you try to avoid them. Affectionate, even-tempered and slow to anger -- when you do become emotionally upset, you are also slow to forgive and time must pass before your calm returns. You demand real results from any situation -- abstractions are very difficult for you to comprehend. Very artistic, your hands love to mold and shape things. You portray an earthy, physical sexiness that others find quite seductive.

Moon is in 02 Degrees Capricorn.
You are serious and shy and very uncomfortable in those situations where spontaneous and exuberant emotional reactions seem called for. An achiever, you prefer doing practical, worthwhile things that produce tangible results. You need role models to respect, love and emulate. You tend to feel that you're a failure unless you get an important and highly respected position in life. Don't be so hard on yourself! For you, practical needs always win out over emotional considerations. Remember that you too have the right to comfort, security and love. Dutiful and patient, when you make an emotional commitment, you sign on for the long haul -- your love is long- enduring.

Mercury is in 25 Degrees Aries.
Very quick-witted, you are known for being an independent thinker. You love to debate and argue, and are excellent at repartee and battles of wits. At times, however, you act too fast on hastily formed opinions and thus waste a lot of energy defending your rash and sometimes incorrect conclusions. It is perfectly acceptable for you to defend your beliefs with your usual vigor, but try not to take the opinions of others as personal insults.

Venus is in 16 Degrees Taurus.
You are known to be a warm and affectionate person, and you tend to form long- lasting attachments. The reverse of this is that you can also be quite possessive once you have made a commitment. The beauty, luxury and comfort of your surroundings are important to you and you will devote much time and energy to making your home just right. Beware of your tendency toward self-indulgence, especially with respect to eating incorrectly. You also need outside stimuli to get you in gear When things come too easily for you, you can be lazy and indolent.

Mars is in 16 Degrees Taurus.
Careful, slow and thorough about all that you do, at times you are also willful and stubborn when others try to alter your course. You are definitely not a quitter -- you will work long and hard to get what you want. Your possessions are very important to you. One of your continuing problems is that you tend to regard the significant people in your life much the same way as you do your possessions -- you become overly attached and much too jealous. You repress your anger when you get upset and that is not healthy. Try to learn to show your anger immediately in order to avoid painful explosions later.

Jupiter is in 08 Degrees Capricorn.
You tend to feel that the only results that are worthwhile are the results that are concrete and demonstrable. You distrust abstract solutions and appreciate measurable achievements. An excellent organizer and planner, you are optimistic as well as practical and realistic about what can and what cannot happen. Very responsible, you consider it a personal weakness to be wrong about anything. This makes you appropriately cautious. You are very efficient but you tend to be cool and detached.

Saturn is in 13 Degrees Leo.
Extremely self-reliant, you set very high standards of conduct and decorum for yourself, and you expect others with whom you associate to be that way, too. It is important that you had a strong father figure or role model early in life to mold your life course and direction. When you feel that those around you are unworthy or behaving badly, you withdraw, preferring solitude rather than associating with those who might besmirch your reputation.

Uranus is in 19 Degrees Libra.
You, as well as your entire peer group, have a very free, unstable and unconventional approach to relationships and emotional commitments. You will be attracted to experiments in marriage and shared lifestyles. Personal freedom is more important to you than entangling emotional bonds. In the realm of art and aesthetics, you are attracted to the bizarre, shocking and unusual.

Neptune is in 00 Degrees Gemini.
You, and your entire generation, are attracted to various types of mystical and abstract literature and philosophy. You are interested in broadening your intellectual and spiritual horizons. But beware of a tendency toward mere dabbling -- there may come a time when you will have to take a stand. The desire to immerse yourself in metaphysical speculations may stem from a fear of involvement in the gritty necessities of the mundane world.

Pluto is in 04 Degrees Gemini.
For your entire generation, this is a period of far-reaching and profound breakthroughs in the ability of people to communicate with each other. During one such period, at the turn of the Twentieth Century, the appearance of the telephone, the automobile and air travel ushered in the global village.

N. Node is in 15 Degrees Cancer.
You genuinely enjoy meeting other people, but you're at your best if you can do so from the comfort of your own home. You prefer others to come to you and tend to feel uncomfortable about leaving your home or neighborhood for any extended period of time. Those who do come in contact with you are struck by your caring and obliging nature -- you really make them feel at home. You form the closest ties, however, with members of your immediate family, especially your parents and children. You're at your best attending or organizing family reunions!

Hazen
8th June 2006, 01:49 AM
Name: Johnny Wishbone
November 23 1967
5:00 AM Time Zone is UT
London, UK

Rising Sign is in 02 Degrees Scorpio
You tend to be quiet, reserved, secretive and, at times, quite difficult to understand. Others notice your deep emotions and feelings [mega miss] and wonder how to draw you out. Stubborn and tough, you fight for any position you believe in. You are very resourceful and formidable when you become angered or upset about something [generic appeal to the ego]. You enjoy living life at the cutting edge -- for you life must be experienced intensely and totally [see last comment]. Quite courageous, you are willing to take calculated risks. Easily hurt by others [no], you often strike back with bitter sarcasm [only when drunk - so miss]. Sensitive [no] and curious, you are concerned with the deeper mysteries of human psychology [?]. Once you have become interested in any subject, you pursue it with total fanaticism.

Sun is in 00 Degrees Sagittarius.
Very fun-loving, spirited and energetic, you have a huge reservoir of physical energy within you that needs to be released. As such, exercise [only because I'm getting into middle age and don't want to end up a fat bastard] or sports are very important to you [miss]. Quite gregarious [don't know what that means], you enjoy being with other people, but you tend to avoid emotionally restrictive or intimate relationships [hit]. Constantly curious about the broader issues of life, you may at times be quite careless and sloppy about details -- you tend to leap to conclusions before all the facts are in [mega miss]. An avid reader [hit], you are totally enthusiastic about any given subject should it interest you. You are known for being idealistic, generous, sociable, cheerful and very positive!

Moon is in 08 Degrees Leo.
You always want to be proud of yourself [who doesn't] and will never do anything that will make yourself look bad [utter bollocks]. You need the respect and admiration of others and enjoy attracting attention to yourself [mega miss]. Everything you do tends to be self-emphasized and self-exaggerated [what?]. Very stubborn, willful and independent yourself, be sure to allow others who are close to you the similar right to "be themselves." Your need for love, affection and reassurance, and your tendency toward vanity [for somebody who does their clothes shopping at army surplus I'd call that a mega miss], allow you to have your head easily turned by flattery [big miss]. The more insecure you are, the more you tend to be a showoff. You love games and sports as a matter of fact, you would usually rather play than work [hello?]. Be careful of a tendency to be snobbish and uppity -- it does not become you.

Mercury is in 11 Degrees Scorpio.
You are a born investigator. You are fascinated by secrets and mysteries and unanswered questions of any kind. When you become upset or angry, your emotional reactions are overpowering [big miss]-- reason and logic disappear in an uncontrollable passionate outburst [mega-miss]. You tend to keep your thoughts secret and bottled up and this makes others regard you with suspicion. It is not that you are trying purposely to be evasive, it is just that you would rather not deal with the explosions and hassles that often occur when you reveal your true feelings and opinions. Your sense of humor tends toward sarcasm and irony [okay, hit].

Venus is in 14 Degrees Libra.
A very friendly and outgoing [miss] person, you hate to be alone [miss]. Beware of a continuing tendency to compromise yourself in order to avoid being lonely [miss]. Try to be yourself, not what others would like you to be. You have an innate desire to be in refined and elegant surroundings and will go out of your way to create a plush and comfortable atmosphere around you [miss]. You have heightened aesthetic sensibilities and are attracted to music and the arts [who doesn't like music, film, theatre etc?]. Try to avoid using your well-known seductive charm [ha!] in order to get out of doing what you consider to be dirty work!

Mars is in 23 Degrees Capricorn.
Extremely ambitious, you are willing to work very hard to reach the goals you have set for yourself. Very practical, cautious and conservative, you demand tangible results for your efforts [miss]. You need to excel in whatever you do, and you have the required sense of responsibility, dedication and self-discipline to bring it about [generic appeal to the ego]. Beware of your tendency to judge others only by their degree of status and prestige [utter bo11ocks], or by how well they will be able to advance you in your climb to the top [see last remark].

Jupiter is in 04 Degrees Virgo.
You feel most expansive and at ease with yourself when you are doing something that you consider to be practical or useful [hit]. You enjoy being dutiful and carrying out responsibilities. You gladly take on the little tasks that others seem to want to avoid [miss]. At times, you carry things to extremes and feel guilty anytime you do something that you consider to be self-indulgent [big miss]. While it is appropriate for you to demand little for yourself in life, try to loosen up once in a while -- go out on a fling and enjoy yourself!

Saturn is in 05 Degrees Aries.
You are aloof, independent and standoffish. This is mainly due to your fear that others might inhibit or restrict you and, quite frankly, you feel that you can govern your life by your own standards. Be careful not to associate with those who are overly critical of you or you will withdraw so deeply into your shell that you will become very lonely [miss]. You have the ability to stand on your own two feet and to make up your own mind -- albeit very carefully and cautiously. But you are known for your circumspection and therefore are respected and admired.

Uranus is in 28 Degrees Virgo.
You, and all your peers, will be known for the degree of intensity with which you dislike normal everyday routines and chores. You will go out of your way to invent innovative, unique and timesaving ways to perform the various mundane routines and duties of living [am I supposed to have invented a washing/cooking/ironing/cleaning device?]. You will be attracted to all manner of practical and useful gadgets -- anything that will make your daily life more exciting.

Neptune is in 24 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your entire generation, are extremely interested in anything deep and mysterious [?]. You will explore and idealize the benefits that can accrue from the study of the occult [ha!], healing and psychology. You are willing to experiment with substances like drugs in order to push your understanding of your inner being to the extreme.

Pluto is in 22 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in society's attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice [duh!].

N. Node is in 27 Degrees Aries.
You're at your most comfortable when involved in group activities outside of your immediate family circle. You delight in getting involved with others in neighborhood civic or political activities, especially if you can be a part of the leadership of the group. Your zeal and overabundant energy bring out your real creativity when you can work toward tangible results -- things that will immediately benefit those around you [another generic appeal to the ego]. You have a real gift for getting the most out of charity drives and community benefits. Take time out between projects though, because you tire out easily and your effectiveness becomes greatly diminished when your energy is depleted [who's doesn't]. Also, don't even think of trying to get involved at a peripheral level -- you need a total commitment to feel personally fulfilled. Let others bake the cookies and set up the chairs -- you should be the one to tell everyone what to do and when to do it! [sounds like DRBUZZ0]

tkingdoll
8th June 2006, 02:15 AM
I just noticed that the preview pane on the forum homepage shows this thread as "check out my not-vag..."

:o

Hazen
8th June 2006, 02:25 AM
Oo-err

Sounds a bit rude...

tkingdoll
8th June 2006, 02:43 AM
Oo-err

Sounds a bit rude...


It's ok, it's my not-vag.

If it said "check out my vag", then it would be rude. :-*

median
8th June 2006, 08:55 AM
Not-vag is that a type of Orwellian newspeak?

Doubleplus good...it could catch on ???

Honest officer..I wasn't looking at her not-vag...mmm, does that mean he was?

I'll stop there before it descends into smut...

Oooops...too late :D :D